Return to me
by riotinmyheart
Summary: Not good with summaries... just read? :D


Title: Return to me  
  
Author: Kathi  
  
Rating: Probably R due to some parts... maybe PG-13?  
  
Pairing: Bobby/Alex  
  
Summary: Um.. Just read? :D It's fluff.  
  
Disclaimer: Sadly, the only part of L&O: CI that I own is the Season 1 DVDs.  
  
Don't sue me!  
  
Archive: Yes to AI, anywhere else, email me.  
  
Feedback: God yes! Send it my way, I'll love it and you forever. :D  
  
Alex Eames walked quietly along the shoreline of the North Wildwood beach in  
  
New Jersey. She couldn't believe the events that transpired to lead her  
  
here. One moment she was a detective with the Major Case squad, happily  
  
working alongside her partner, Bobby Goren, and now she was alone, miserable  
  
and walking at a beach in New Jersey, feeling the cool air and letting the  
  
water lap up against her feet. Pausing briefly, she let her hands rest on  
  
her slowly growing belly and sighed. She had already arrived in New Jersey  
  
when she was positive she must be pregnant. Two pregnancy tests and an  
  
appointment at a clinic later, she learned her feelings were correct. This  
  
time, she wasn't going to be a surrogate. She was actually going to be  
  
someone's mother. She had created life.  
  
She had created life... with her partner, Bobby.  
  
"Bobby", she muttered to herself. Just saying his name made her want to cry.  
  
She remembered the first time they  
  
met. How he constantly amazed her with his profiling abilities. How he  
  
listened, really listened to her input on cases and made her feel like they  
  
were a team, rather than making it seem like she was just his shadow. How  
  
his eyes intently focused on her own when they were talking together. How  
  
those eyes made her melt everytime she was with him.  
  
She remembered the moment she knew she was in love with him. They were  
  
walking together in the snow, on the way to visit a suspect in a murder case  
  
when Bobby slipped on some ice and fell. Worried he'd hurt himself, she  
  
asked him if he was alright and put her hand out to help Bobby up. He  
  
grinned slyly at her, got up, and before she knew it, he had pelted her in  
  
the face with a snowball. She laughed, threw one back at him and missed. He  
  
grabbed her arm, linked it with his and looked into her eyes. Looking at  
  
Bobby she saw something she had never seen there before. Tenderness in his  
  
eyes, mixed with a silly smile. Suddenly she wanted to kiss him and never  
  
let him go. "I love this man." She'd thought to herself.  
  
Alex wandered over to a bench, zipped up her sweater to combat the balmy  
  
beach weather, and continued remembering.  
  
Three months went by, and everyday Alex found herself more and more in love  
  
with Bobby. She tried her best to keep her feelings secret, not wanting her  
  
feelings to become gossip in the office. Then on a Friday, she worked up her  
  
nerve, and asked Bobby to give her a lift home. He agreed, not noticing the  
  
flush that colored Alex's cheeks. They finished the day out early, and  
  
before she knew it, he had arrived at her apartment building.  
  
"Well, here we are." Bobby said quietly. Alex looked at him, trying not to  
  
blush. "Does he have any idea what the sight of him does to me?" she thought  
  
to herself. She reached out and touched Bobby's hand. He looked at her,  
  
surprised.  
  
"Bobby... w-w-want to c-come up for a d-d-drink?" She stammered.  
  
Questions marked Bobby's eyes. She thought she was going to pass out on the  
  
spot. All of a sudden, Bobby relaxed and smiled at her. "Sure."  
  
They took the elevator up to Alex's floor, talking about the case they were  
  
working on. With shaking hands, Alex opened the door to her apartment and  
  
turned the light on. "Make yourself at home." she whispered, "I'll go get  
  
some beers."  
  
She emerged from her kitchen a few minutes later and found Bobby looking at  
  
the pictures she had of herself and her family on her wall. "Oh God", she  
  
thought, "Just what I need. Bobby looking at me as a kid." Smiling  
  
hesitantly, she placed the beers down on her coffee table and laughed  
  
quietly. Bobby turned around with a smile and said,  
  
"You know, you were adorable as a kid."  
  
Blushing furiously, Alex managed a hoarse thank you and sat down. Bobby sat  
  
down next to her, sipped his beer and started up a discussion with Alex  
  
about a movie he had just seen. Alex hadn't seen the movie, but she smiled  
  
and laughed when Bobby said the director of the movie must have learned how  
  
to direct movies off of a box of Wheaties. She felt so comfortable around  
  
Bobby, it was one of the reasons she loved him. How one look from him, one  
  
smile could make her feel at home no matter where she was. The minutes  
  
turned into hours, and when they heard Bobbys watch beep, they both looked  
  
at it and laughed. It was two in the morning, they had managed to completely  
  
loose track of time.  
  
They stood up together and smiled at each other. "Alex, I had a really nice  
  
time tonight." Bobby told her.  
  
Smiling, Alex replied, "I did too. Who knew you were such good company?"  
  
Chuckling, Bobby grabbed Alex and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her  
  
arms around Bobby and took a deep breath. He smelled so good. She looked up  
  
at Bobby, and found him gazing at her intently. She felt shivers travel down  
  
her back and smiled at him. "It's now or never Alex, just make a move  
  
damnit!" She told herself. With shaking hands, she pulled Bobby's face  
  
towards hers, and gently kissed him.  
  
Alex shivered at the sensation of remembering their first kiss. She felt his  
  
surprise, but nearly melted onto the floor when Bobby relaxed and kissed her  
  
back. She gently explored Bobby's mouth with her tounge and moaned softly  
  
when she felt Bobby's mouth do the same.  
  
Alex blinked back tears, got up, and started walking along the shoreline  
  
again. She remembered feeling Bobby's hands caressing every inch of her  
  
body. She remembered letting her hands wander down Bobbys front and pulling  
  
his shirt over his head, needing to feel his skin touch hers. She remembered  
  
crying out when she felt Bobby slowly entered her, seeing the need and  
  
desire in his eyes and arching to meet his thrusts. Alex climaxed first,  
  
screaming "Bobby!!" Bobby followed shortly after, moaning and looking into  
  
her eyes the whole time.  
  
Alex paused momentairly, letting tears stream down her face as her thoughts  
  
about what happened next consumed her.  
  
Immeadiately after they had made love, Bobby got up abruptly and started to  
  
get dressed.  
  
"Bobby?" She said hesitantly. He looked back at her oddly. "I have to go."  
  
"Why? Bobby, you can spend the night, you don't have to go."  
  
"I have to go because... Look Alex, this was wrong. We shouldn't have done  
  
this. We're partners. We're friends. We can't let anything mess that up."  
  
Bobby told her quietly.  
  
She looked at him with tear filled eyes. "Bobby, it wasn't wrong. We can  
  
work this out. We can --"  
  
"NO, Alex, we can't." Bobby finished getting dressed. "I'll see you on  
  
Monday, alright? I just... can't deal with this right now." He paused  
  
briefly, and looked at Alex. "I'm sorry." He walked out the door, leaving  
  
Alex alone with her tears.  
  
The following two months were horrible for both of them. Bobby was distant  
  
and brooding, Alex was upset and trying to hold back her tears as they  
  
worked on cases together. Bobby wasn't listening to her anymore. He was  
  
short and abrupt when they spoke, leaving Alex even more upset. Finally,  
  
Alex couldn't take it anymore. She walked into Captain Deakins's office,  
  
shut the door, and sat down.  
  
"Eames! I'm glad you're here. I've been meaning to talk to you." Captain  
  
Deakins said cheerfully.  
  
"You have?" Alex asked. The captain responded by getting up, walking over  
  
and putting a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"What's with you and Goren? I've seen the way you two have been acting.  
  
You're hardly communicating, and when you are you don't seem to be getting  
  
along."  
  
Alex tried not to cry. "I've messed things up, Captain. I don't think things  
  
between Goren & I will ever be the same again."  
  
The captain looked at her, sympathetically. "Now Eames, I'm sure things will  
  
be alright in the end. Don't worr--"  
  
"Captain I need some time off. I can't take what's going on here... I need  
  
to get away. Goren will survive without me for a few weeks. He probably  
  
won't even notice I'm gone." She interrupted.  
  
The captain paused, and eventually agreed. They agreed for Alex to be gone  
  
for four weeks, with the condition that wherever Alex went she would call  
  
the Captain to let her know how she was doing. She nodded her agreement, and  
  
left the office knowing Bobby's eyes were on her as she walked away.  
  
The next day she had caught a train to New Jersey... she immediately found a  
  
small hotel off the North Wildwood beach. She thought the time alone,  
  
staring at the ocean, letting the waves sooth her would do her good. She  
  
wanted to get her head together and forget about Bobby. But the more time  
  
she was away from him, the more she knew she loved and needed Bobby  
  
desperately. He was the only constant in her life, the only person who could  
  
make everything go away just by looking at her, and she wanted nothing more  
  
to wrap her arms around him and never let him go.  
  
After she found out she was pregnant, she had pondered calling Bobby. "He  
  
has a right to know," she thought to herself. "But what if he doesn't want  
  
to be there for the baby and I? What if I've wrecked things so badly he  
  
wants nothing more to do with me ever again?" She ended up not calling  
  
Bobby, but called the Captain instead.  
  
"Alex, it's good to hear your voice. I was worried about you. How are you?  
  
Where are you?" The captain asked anxiously.  
  
"I'm OK, Captain. I'm in New Jersey, off the North Wildwood beach." she  
  
replied.  
  
"Are you feeling any better? You know, Alex... I talked to Goren." He said.  
  
Feeling her heart stop, she asked, "How is he? Is he alright, has he driven  
  
his temporary partner insane yet?"  
  
The captain chuckled. "He's driven him crazy, yes. He... he's not doing so  
  
well otherwise."  
  
"What's going on???" Alex demanded, "Is he hurt??"  
  
"No nothing like that. He... he misses you, Alex. He wants you to come back.  
  
He says he's got some things he needs to say." The captain said gently.  
  
Blinking back tears, Alex muttered, "I miss him too... More than anything.  
  
There's more, Captain. I'm... I'm pregnant. I found out about a week after I  
  
got here."  
  
The captain sighed. "So Goren is the father, then? That's what happened?"  
  
"Y-Yes. Captain, we didn't mean for it to happen... It... just happened."  
  
Alex said miserably.  
  
"It's OK, Alex. But you really need to tell Bobby." "I know, Captain. Just..  
  
please don't mention you talked to me. I... can't face him yet."  
  
The captain sighed again. "Alright Alex... Call me in a week, let me know  
  
how you're doing. And take care of yourself, you're not alone in this, you  
  
know."  
  
Alex smiled. "Thanks, Captain."  
  
A week went by, and Alex found herself walking again along the shoreline of  
  
the beach. She found herself rubbing her growing belly, noticing her  
  
pregnancy even more. "I'm going to look like a hippo again." She muttered to  
  
herself. She wandered over to her now usual bench, and sat down.  
  
Automatically her thoughts turned to Bobby. She missed him so much. She knew  
  
she had probably made a mistake running away, but still felt the time away  
  
from Bobby would do them both good. When she got back, she would sit Bobby  
  
down, tell him how she felt, and hold nothing back. She wondered how Bobby  
  
was doing, if he still missed her. Her thoughts were interrupted by a radio  
  
playing nearby. She tried to tune the radio out, but the words struck a  
  
chord with her and before she knew it, she was in tears.  
  
I will be the answer at the end of the line  
  
I will be there for you while you take the time  
  
In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground  
  
I will hold the balance if you can't look down  
  
If it takes a whole life I wont break I wont bend  
  
It'll all be worth it worth it in the end  
  
'Cause I can only tell you what I know  
  
That I need you in my life  
  
And when the stars have all burned out  
  
You'll still be burning so bright (Answer, by Sarah McLachlan)  
  
Those words rang in her head. She wiped her tears away, and wished Bobby was  
  
there. "Bobby... Return to me, please." She whispered. A strong wind wafted  
  
through the air, leaving Alex shivering. She got up, turned to go back to  
  
her hotel and stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
Bobby Goren was walking towards her.  
  
Alex stood there, at a loss for words. "B-Bobby?" she croaked out. Bobby  
  
quickly closed the distance between them, saying nothing. They stood there,  
  
looking at each other. Suddenly, Bobby reached out and hugged her fiercely.  
  
She thought she had to be dreaming. "This can't be real" she said out loud.  
  
Bobby looked into her eyes and smiled. "But it is. I'm here."  
  
She started to cry again and hugged him closer to her. She looked up at  
  
Bobby and saw his own eyes were watering. "Alex..." He began, "I'm.. I'm so  
  
sorry."  
  
"H-How did you f-find me?" she stammered. "N-Not that I don't want you here,  
  
but I-"  
  
"The captain. I knew he'd talked to you, and when he refused to tell me  
  
where you were, I made it my buisness to ask him, repeatedly, until he told  
  
me." Bobby replied with a slight twinkle in his eyes despite his attempts  
  
not to cry. "One might say I drove him crazy."  
  
Alex giggled, despite herself. "I'm glad he told you, Bobby... I missed you,  
  
so much."  
  
They sat down on the bench together, holding hands. Bobby caressed her hand  
  
with his own, and took a deep breath. "Alex, I'm so sorry for what happened.  
  
I was such an asshole to you, and it wasn't fair. Instead of us talking  
  
things out, I pushed you away... Then you were gone, and all I did was miss  
  
you and curse myself for not saying how I really felt."  
  
Alex exhaled slowly and tried to smile. "H-How do you really feel?"  
  
Bobby wiped his eyes, and reached out to caress her cheek. "Most people  
  
consider me difficult to work with. I considered myself difficult to work  
  
with even. That all changed... When I met you. Suddenly, I was partnered  
  
with this amazing individual, who where people wouldn't listen, listened.  
  
Who where people wouldn't understand, understood. I just couldn't see it  
  
until you were gone, Alex." He said quietly, "We're a part of a puzzle, you  
  
and I. When we're apart, the puzzle is incomplete. When we're together, the  
  
puzzle is together.. whole."  
  
Alex wiped her own eyes and tried to speak. "Bobby, I---"  
  
Bobby gently put his finger to her lips. "I, I need to say this, Alex. After  
  
we made love, I knew.. I knew I was in love with you. I think I've always  
  
known, but I was just too chickenshit to see it. You... You're the most  
  
amazing woman I've ever known. You're the one thing in my life that shines.  
  
But I was afraid."  
  
"Afraid? Why?" Alex blurted out.  
  
Bobby smiled slightly. "Alex... Relationships aren't exactly my strong suit.  
  
Every relationship I've had with a woman has ended up with them walking out  
  
because I was too afraid to let anyone in. It's different with you, Alex.  
  
I've let you in, and as much as that might scare me," He murmured, "I can't  
  
deny my feelings for you any longer. I love you, Alexandra Eames. You've  
  
penetrated deep within me, and I never want to let you go."  
  
Alex, crying openly, hugged Bobby close to her. "I love you, Robert Goren.  
  
You're the one constant I've always needed. I was so stupid to think leaving  
  
would make everything better."  
  
Bobby looked at her, smiling slowly. Alex looked back at him and found  
  
herself doing the same. Gently, he wiped away her tears, cupped her face in  
  
his hands, and kissed her tenderly. She opened her mouth, returning his kiss  
  
with everything in her.  
  
Suddenly, she realized she had one more thing to tell Bobby. Breaking off  
  
the kiss, she stood up. Bobby stood up a second later, looking at her,  
  
questioningly. "Alex..?"  
  
"Bobby," she whispered, "I have something to show you." She rolled up her  
  
shirt, exposing her abdomen. She reached out for Bobby's hand and placed it  
  
on her stomach. Bobby held his hand there, staring at her stomach with wide  
  
eyes. "A-Alex, a-a-are you pregn-pregnant?" Bobby stammered, his eyes never  
  
leaving her stomach.  
  
"Yes, Bobby. I am. I think you what brought that about." She replied with a  
  
grin.  
  
He looked at her intently. "We.. we made life?" "Yes Bobby, we did."  
  
He kept looking at her. "We made life." He muttered to himself. "We... Made  
  
life." He repeated that several times, letting the words sink in. Suddenly,  
  
a wide grin was plastered across his face. He grabbed her and kissed her  
  
again, with intensity.  
  
"I'm going to be someone's father. We're going to have a baby." Bobby said  
  
in a daze. Alex felt her eyes water as she looked at him. "Hey..." Bobby  
  
said gently, pulling her close to him. "What's wrong?"  
  
"You said we're going to have a baby." she choked out. "You can't even begin  
  
to imagine how much that means to me that you want to be there and in our  
  
lives."  
  
"Where else would I be, Alex? As I said," Bobby said gently, kissing her  
  
cheek. "I'm never letting you go. The fact that we're going to have a baby  
  
is so... wonderful. I've never been good with children, but this baby...  
  
it's going to be a part of you and me. I already love it. And I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Bobby." Alex replied before kissing him deeply.  
  
Bobby broke the kiss and sat her down on the bench. He sat down, leaned  
  
towards her stomach and said,  
  
"Hi there. I'm your Dad. I can't wait to meet you." He kissed her stomach  
  
and smiled.  
  
He sat back up and put his arm around Alex. Alex rested her head on his  
  
shoulder, not knowing what the future held, but took comfort in the fact  
  
that at least she wouldn't have to face the future alone. 


End file.
